THE following questions have been posed to tourism offices across South Africa.
Q: Does it ever get windy in South Africa? I have never seen it raining on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (USA) A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Durban to Cape Town - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden) A: Sure, it's only two thousand kilometres, take lots of water...
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in South Africa? (Sweden) A: So it's true what they say about Swedes...?
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in South Africa? Can you send me a list of them in JHB, Cape Town, Knysna and Jeffrey's Bay? (UK) A: ....and what did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about koala bear racing in South Africa? (USA) A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific. A-fri-ca is the big triangle-shaped continent south of Europe which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the koala bear racing is every Tuesday night in Hillbrow. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is north in South Africa? (USA)A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into South Africa? (UK) A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA) A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys’ Choir plays every Tuesday night in Hillbrow, straight after the koala bear races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in South Africa? (France) A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in South Africa? (USA) A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in South Africa where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy) A: Yes. Gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in South Africa? (France) A: Only at Christmas
Q: Are there killer bees in South Africa? (Germany) A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Cape Town and is milk available all year round? (Germany) A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in South Africa who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)A: Rattlesnakes live in A-me-ri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All South African snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: I was in South Africa in 1969, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Hillbrow. Can you help? (USA)A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
Source: http://www.travelhub.co.za/
Monday, July 14, 2008
Sunday, July 13, 2008
July 13 2008
A rare day with a family of cousins in one place together.
Ben and Dani.
Megan, Jesse, Jake and Wendy.
Ruby and Sylvie.
Teddy and Abi.
Surrounded by their parents (except myself and George Williams) and by the Leed grandparents on the occassion of Ben's 7th birthday.
I am sad that I was not there and I am sure that my brother-in-law George feels the same.
It may be many years until the children are all in the same place at the same time and I hope that they leave each other today with happy memories and that the "leaving" is not too rushed.
Love you all!!
Ben and Dani.
Megan, Jesse, Jake and Wendy.
Ruby and Sylvie.
Teddy and Abi.
Surrounded by their parents (except myself and George Williams) and by the Leed grandparents on the occassion of Ben's 7th birthday.
I am sad that I was not there and I am sure that my brother-in-law George feels the same.
It may be many years until the children are all in the same place at the same time and I hope that they leave each other today with happy memories and that the "leaving" is not too rushed.
Love you all!!
Saturday, July 12, 2008
An oldie but a goodie....
This plane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board but only 4 parachutes
The first passenger said, "I'm Zinedine Zidane, the world's number 1 footballer. FIFA needs me, I can't afford to die." So he took the first pack and left the plane.
The second passenger, Hillary Clinton, said, "I am the wife of the former President of the United States , I am the most ambitious woman in the world. I am also a New York Senator and a potential future President." She just took the 2nd parachute and jumped out of the plane.
The third passenger, Robert Mugabe, said, "I'm President of Zimbabwe and I have 13 million helpless people who always look to me for guidance. Above all I'm the cleverest President in African history, and Africa's people won't let me die". So he put on a pack next to him and jumped out of the plane.
The fourth passenger, Nelson Mandela, says to the fifth passenger, a 10yr old Chinese school boy, "I'm old and have lived a fruitful life, God will decide my fate, so I'll let you have the last parachute".
The boy said, "It's OK, there's a parachute left for you. Africa 's cleverest President (Robert Mugabe) has taken my schoolbag."
The first passenger said, "I'm Zinedine Zidane, the world's number 1 footballer. FIFA needs me, I can't afford to die." So he took the first pack and left the plane.
The second passenger, Hillary Clinton, said, "I am the wife of the former President of the United States , I am the most ambitious woman in the world. I am also a New York Senator and a potential future President." She just took the 2nd parachute and jumped out of the plane.
The third passenger, Robert Mugabe, said, "I'm President of Zimbabwe and I have 13 million helpless people who always look to me for guidance. Above all I'm the cleverest President in African history, and Africa's people won't let me die". So he put on a pack next to him and jumped out of the plane.
The fourth passenger, Nelson Mandela, says to the fifth passenger, a 10yr old Chinese school boy, "I'm old and have lived a fruitful life, God will decide my fate, so I'll let you have the last parachute".
The boy said, "It's OK, there's a parachute left for you. Africa 's cleverest President (Robert Mugabe) has taken my schoolbag."
Monday, July 07, 2008
Pictures of the week
Megan Williams and Megan Kaitlin Leed
Megan Williams and Jesse Louise Leed
Jake Niall Sinclair Leed
Wendy Ladybird Leed
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